I Miss You...

A blog for anyone who has lost someone. You're not alone.
My Grandma died 8.19.14 I will always miss her. There are some things that time cannot mend.
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If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here. <3

Posted: September 9th
Posted: September 9th

Everyday on We Heart It.

Grandma. I miss you. None of this feels how I thought it was going to feel. My brain can hardly process the fact that you are gone forever. It’s like I’m protecting myself from feeling it. I really miss you, I would give anything to go to your house and have you open that door, instead of Grandpa, as much as I love him, it’s you that I want to see. Everything feels so empty now, all of your things are at the house and you are not. I peeked into your room the other day and I’m certain that I was expecting to see you laying in that bed because I was surprised and disappointed when I saw that you were not there. 

I just can’t understand this, Grandma. Cancer deaths are so different in the movies, it’s such a lie. You did not have something wonderful to say before you died, you didn’t just magically die right after you said your last goodbyes. You suffered, your whole body just fell apart… You were throwing up blood, you were in pain, you couldn’t even really swallow. Now you’re just gone. The strongest and most beautiful person I knew, gone. All of that life and courage and love, just gone. When I really think about the fact that I’m never going to see you again I feel like I’m suffocating because this is not a reality I ever wanted to face. I thought I could prepare myself for this, but I couldn’t have. I just want to hear your voice, I want to see your face. Everyone says you feel your loved one with you after they die, but I don’t. I don’t feel you with me at all. I wish I did, because life without you is too hard and sometimes I just don’t want to be a part of this world without you. 

I love you. 

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Posted: September 9th

Andrew Hussie
"The reality is you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same again. Nor should you be the same nor should you want to."
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (via quoteessential)

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"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."
Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: The Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid (via lor104)

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"When one person is missing the whole world seems empty."
Pat Schweibert, Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss  (via her0inchic)

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Posted: September 9th
"Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change. And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much. Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can. The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away. There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance."
Grey’s Cast (Lexie, Mark, Alex, Derek, Bailey, Owen, Meredith, Arizona, Callie, Cristina, Richard)

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"My mother’s death supervened, and this was the greatest blow I had experienced in my life. I worshiped her… I could not resign myself to the loss of a being on whom I counted to make invisible the unavoidable blemishes of my soul."
Salvador DalífromThe Secret Life of Salvador Dalí”  (via grieving-corner)

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